September 8, 2008

It's not you, it's me

Dear Firewalker,

We’ve spent a few weeks together now, and they’ve really been great. Your pattern repeat is perfection, not too complicated to work on while watching TV, but not so mindless that you bore me. And the way your red and the orange stripe up on the bias, sweetly sprinkled with a few bright yellow stitches? Endlessly charming.

But it’s just not enough, I’m afraid. And I think you know what the problem is, because we tried this once before. Back when I foolishly thought just changing from a size 1 to a size 2 needle would be enough. You were too small back then, but rather than presenting Megan (of the dainty feet) with yet another pair of tiny socks, I was willing to give it another try. I increased you to 82 stitches, and you were still beautiful.

And yet, here we are, back in the same place we were all those months ago.

Damn2

I’m so sorry to do this to you, but it’s just not going to happen, you and me. You see, even at 82 stitches on a size 2 needle, you just aren't going to fit my undainty feet.

I wish you all the best in your next incarnation. I’m thinking you’ll make a really lovely pair of fingerless mitts.

Best wishes,
Ariel

7 comments:

Karen said...

Oh no. Darn socks. Oh well, it sounds like it's for the best. No good to waste time on a partner who's so inflexible. :(

Sarah said...

You just dumped your socks. Now they are wallowing in Ben & Jerry's listening to Alanis Morrisette over and over.

They will make beautiful mitts.

Rebecca said...

shoot. that's just horrible. especially since you took firewalker back and all after he/she wasn't a good fit at all. at least you tried. hope your goodbyes aren't too painful. love the colorway!

Firewalker said...

Dear Ariel,

One day you'll be sorry. You'll be stuck walking around with a boring, muted pair of socks that don't do anything special for your feet, and you'll want me back. But I'll have moved on. I'm going places, moving up in the world. Hands, necks, heads -- they all want me. Some people can recognize a good thing when it's sitting right in front of them.

I hope your happy now, because the jig is up, and you won't be able to get your rocks off by stepping on me any more.

I'm just sorry that I wasted so many precious months with you.

Jenny said...

Oh my god, you've blogged so much since I last saw you! Okay, I need to get with the L-I-T program here.

Regarding you and the firewalkers. I'm JUST SAYING, maaaaybe if you increased to size 3, and knit more than what you knit here, you'd find that they'll actually work. NOT THAT I HATE TO SEE A BEAUTIFUL THING DIE AND WILL HANG ON TIL MY DYING DAY -- okay, seriously, both of those times I wrote "dye." It's a sickness.

Anyway, I still think it could work between the two of you.

Um, or sometimes you gotta cut your losses.

You deserve a beer. Jenny to the rescue.

Quirkles said...

Arggghhhh! I just lost my comment! Oh, well. My condolences on the failed relationship. I'm sure you'll move on to a mutually beneficial relationship before firewalker does.

Macoco said...

That is perhaps the saddest thing ever.