On balance

60 hours since my last cigarette. Two and a half days. That may not seem like a long time, but it's the longest I've gone without smoking in something like fourteen years. And I was pretty sure I'd be that disgusting old lady smoking through her stoma. So I'm impressed with me.

I started taking Chantix a week before I quit, which works by binding to the nicotine receptors in your brain or something equally creepy. This means you don't get the same pleasure from smoking as you normally do, since the feeble Chantix chemicals are suddenly doing the work that delightful, delightful nicotine used to do. When you do quit smoking, the feeble Chantix chemicals continue - ahem - stimulating your nicotine receptors, so you don't completely freak out at the sudden absence of your drug of choice.

Or at least I think that's how it works. My psychopharmacology skills are rusty. Or non-existent. Whatever.

I, of course, decided to spend my last week smoking trying to recapture the original joy of smoking by smoking MORE. I think I missed my true calling as a meth addict or crack whore, with that kind of attitude.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Chantix does have some side effects, most notably insomnia coupled with extraordinarily vivid dreams. Not nightmares or anything, just dreams so real I'm not sure I was dreaming at all. And what have I dreamed about? Updating Excel spreadsheets. A scheduling conflict with weekend plans. My subsconscious is incredibly lame. Why couldn't I dream about yarn? Or Han Solo? Or smoking, for that matter?

The other thing I've found really helpful is eating. Constantly. I really can't recommend this approach enough. Unfortunately, I've been kind of cock-blocked on my "eat constantly" master plan by a bit of oral surgery that reduced my food options to yogurt, mashed potatoes, pureed soups and the like. And once I got over the excitement of eating nothing but mashed potatoes for dinner (I do love me some mashed potatoes after all), this got really boring really fast.

Therein lay an important lesson for me. If I really think about it, I like food a lot more than I like smoking. And if I go back to smoking, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have another unpleasant medical procedure like this recent one. Likely a much worse procedure, in fact, that would likewise compromise my ability to eat, for much longer than the three or four days I'm chafing at right now.

So Reason Number 4,012 that I will not start smoking again: I'm choosing food instead.

I'm choosing a lifetime of eating crusty bread, hard cheese, pickles and broccoli. And jalapenos. And my beloved bacon. Crispy panini and toast with butter and honey. And vinegar and tabasco and salsa and lemon juice. Clover sprouts. Stuffed grape leaves. Chili cheese dogs. Pho. Thin-crust pizza. Chocolate-peanut butter ice cream. Nicoise olives. Falafel. Soba noodles. Steak bombs. Frites. Fresh corn and tomatoes and peaches... and fried chicken and ribs and collard greens.

And, and, and, and, and...

Who needs smoking when you've got all that?

Is it just me?

So I laid out my socks to admire the freshly turned heels and noticed something...funny...



It's not just me, right?

Snort.

Year-end navel-gazing

2008 was not a great year. TB and I broke up in January. Eventually we reconnected as friends, and we’re much happier that way, but it was a pretty crappy couple of months there. Then there was the appendix thing, and some other unpleasant health stuff. One of my closest friends moved away in September, and I miss her stupidly. The fact that she moved near BFF Quinn just makes it all the more depressing. I made a spectacularly bad decision that really hurt another friend. My family is, well, my family and has behaved accordingly. Knitting has been infrequent, as has blogging and other writing.

So, not my best year ever.

But it wasn’t all bad. These were the best parts of 2008:

1. I traveled – to Arizona, Maine, the Cape, the Vineyard, Rhinebeck and California. I also went to MA Sheep and Wool and WEBS. And brought home exciting new yarn from most of those trips.

2. I dated – for the first time in my entire life. I tend to fall immediately into long-term relationships, so this whole dating thing has been, um, interesting? Instructive? I’ve met a few really nice guys – smart, funny, etc. – that I dated for a few months. But nothing has clicked so far. No complaints. I've had a lot of fun, and I’m sure the geeky foodie of my dreams is out there somewhere.

3. Finishing library school. I tend to trivialize the librarian training by saying snotty things like “It’s just library school,” but it is an accomplishment nevertheless. I have a master’s degree, and I did it all while working full time. In the end, I even got all A's. Except for one A-, in TECHNOLOGY FOR INFORMATION PROFESSIONALS. Which, since I'm a systems analyst, is hilarious.

4. Reading a lot of good books. High points included Tigana (thanks Kristy for the recommendation!), The Debt to Pleasure (a dark, funny, immensely erudite novel about food and murder), Vonnegut’s Welcome to the Monkey House, and Ruth Reichl’s food memoirs. There was also a lot of ridiculous trash, which I used to be kind of embarrassed about. But I’ve decided that I will read what I want to read, regardless of its literary merits. Bring on the paranormal romance!

5. Joining a CSA. Despite my complaints about the greens, this was a wonderful experience. I’ve never eaten so well in my life, and I cooked and ate things I never would have touched otherwise. I still don’t like beets, but I will eat and even enjoy eggplant and winter squash now.

6. Learning stuff – I took a hand-dyeing class, tried spinning, baked bread, and started getting into graphic novels.

7. Deciding to quit smoking. I took my first quit smoking pill today and am on track to quit January 8.

I look forward to re-engaging with knitting and the knitblog community, writing more, cooking and eating good food, and spending more time with friends and loved ones in 2009.

Happy New Year!

Year-end knits

The last FO of the year was officially finished at 8 p.m. on New Year's Eve. And here it is...



The Yarn Harlot's Unoriginal Hat, size 10.5 needles, Crystal Palace Icelandic Print. I cast on 70 stitches instead of 56 (one extra repeat of the cable pattern), since my yarn wasn't quite as super-bulky as the recommended yarn.

Incidentally, this yarn has been in the stash for years. Further proof that stash yarn isn't unused or wasted, it's just waiting for the perfect project.

This was such a fun pattern - clearly written, tidily charted, and cute as hell. I hope the recipient likes it as much as I do. It's too small for me, otherwise I'd be seriously rethinking giving it away. Because that's the kind of holiday spirit we have in my house.

I alternated knitting the hat with knitting my two current sock obsessions.



On the left are Manly Socks by Knit*Six, in Regia 4-ply. So wooly. So manly. On the right, Artichoke Socks by Megan Humphrey, in ShibuiKnits Sock. Both colors are darker in real life - the Regia is a deep green, slightly heathered with brown, and the Shibui yarn is a rich dark purple.

I've complained before about how much I loathe knitting ribbing. Yet both these socks are essentially ribbed. The Manly socks are a 3x3 rib, with a 3 row repeat, only one row of which is not monotonous 3x3 ribbing. The Artichoke socks have two panels of these pretty leaves, separated by columns of - yep - 2x2 ribbing. And I LOVE knitting both these socks.

Now that I think about it, the hat was basically 4x3 rib, with a couple of fun twisty cable rows for interest.

So clearly I am easily distracted from the tedium of ribbing. Throw in a slip stitch row every three rows, a yarn over here and there, or some cables, and I will knit ribbing until my hands hurt and I am starving. Case in point, I had so much fun knitting yesterday that I forgot to *eat.* Anything. Until almost 9 p.m.

Given how much I adore food, that's saying something.

Hope all of you had an equally enjoyable New Year's Eve!

I don't just receive gifts

Sometimes I make them, too.

Witness, Mom's Christmas mitts, delivered a mere two days after Christmas. Which, given how late last year's Christmas gift was, was mighty impressive.



Crystal Palace Panda Cotton in the Fall Herbs colorway, about 1.5 balls. Size 2.5 needles. 52 stitch cast-on, 2x2 rib, with a 10 stitch afterthought thumb.



I think the next time I make mitts like these I'll do a gussetted thumb. The afterthought thumb pulls the ribbing out of alignment - not ugly or unwearable or anything, but a gussetted thumb would be a bit prettier.



These cottony mitts are now pulling light duty in Arizona, so I'm glad they got a chance to experience cold weather at least once in their lives.

I have one more Christmas gift in the works (it's not late, it's just making the magic of Christmas last longer). Then we can move onto my latest sock obsessions.

Can't. Stop. Knitting. Socks.

This is why I give him handknits

From the Department of Yet More Awesome Gifts, I bring you the TRIP TO WEBS gift certificate that I, carless and 90 miles away from WEBS, received from my friend Bryan* for Christmas.



Click to view full size. Seriously, it's worth it. e.g., it contains the disclaimer that the gift giver is not responsible for...

PYDS (Post Yarnal Depression Syndrome): This is when a knitter is (for a brief period of time) in a heaven like place, surrounded by a veritable cornucopia of yarn but then has to go back to the real world where limited amounts of yarn are sold only in small shops with limited hours.

Bryan receives handknits, not because he's thoughtful and gives such excellent presents (which he is, and does). But because dude totally understands this knitting thing. Which is all the more amazing because he does not knit, nor was he raised by a knitter or otherwise trained in knitting appreciation in his early life.

So he got a Christmas hat. Cascade 220 superwash, roll-brim, basic stockinette. Details Raveled.



This plain black hat will replace the original plain black hat (also pictured) I made him a few years ago, right after I started knitting. The original hat was knit in Cascade 128 and looked kind of like butt, being about an inch too long for him, with an ugly puckery K2TOG around decrease at the top. However, he has been nice enough to wear this craptacular early knitting effort for several years and was long overdue for an upgrade. (As a bonus, now that he has a replacement hat, he's finally allowing me to fix the original hat, which will do wonders for my knitterly pride).

Though I think he probably deserves some socks, too...

* Thanks are also due to Bryan's uncle Alan, whose mad Photoshop skillz were employed in producing the gift certificate. Thanks, guys!

What I did on my winter vacation

Or eight really fabulous things about my trip to the Bay Area. In no particular order...

1. Wine. And cheese. "Vino con Queso" at Artesa, part of a fabulous Napa itinerary masterminded by my friends Kelley and Mike.





If it tells you anything about our priorities for the day, Mike finished all his wine at the tasting, Kelley finished all her cheese, and I finished all of both. Then I ate the rest of Mike's cheese.

2. It's green. And things are flowering. In December. This is obviously less exciting if you live somewhere warm, but coming from Boston, the greenery was startling. I kept stopping to exclaim over exciting things in people's yards (e.g., "Holy crap! A jade plant, growing! In the ground!").



3. They sell liquor everywhere. Again, less exciting depending on where you live. But liquor! In a grocery store! California is like an exotic foreign land whose customs I do not understand.



4. Geek trivia.



Barely visible on the horizon are the loading cranes at the Oakland docks, supposedly the design inspiration for the Star Wars Walkers.

5. Schnitzel, prepared by BFF Quinn's husband Brian and consumed enthusiastically (and to the point of pain) by me. That man can fry.



6. BFF Quinn! BFF Quinn!



7. Mike and Kelley, who deserted me, I mean, moved to the North Bay in September. As you can see, they have an uncanny ability to find dive bars wherever they live.



This is their local bar in Novato. Where I discovered that drunk old men find me hot. H-O-T-T. Hot. We all have our special talents.

8. New yarn.

Fiber Confections hand-dyed superwash merino from Quinn, who (unsurprisingly given her overall awesomeness) picked out supremely awesome sock yarn for me.



Knitpicks superwash fingering weight, Koolaid dyed by Kelley and gifted to me. It makes me happy every time I look at it.



Dream in Color Smooshy, in the Chinatown Apple colorway, scored at Llama Llama Knit in Novato. I'd never seen Dream in Color yarn in real life, and it is just as smooshy and lovely as I had always heard.



There were a million other wonderful things about the trip, so thank you Kelley and Mike and Quinn and Brian for host(ess)ing so brilliantly.

It was a perfect way to celebrate, and I can't wait to see you all again soon!